...that prostitutes pay him to provide them with men in purple suits that take their money.
...the Ovid mind swap has the option of being performed with a backhand and a simple incantation of "Bitch!"
...his pimp cane is fully autonomous, going upside heads, even when Doom himself is unavailable to supervise.
...it has its own cane as well, as it cannot be bothered to strike the insolent itself.
...his armor contains over ten thousand microscopic, independently-rotating spinning rims.
...The Phalanx are the unfortunate end-result of an aborted attempt to track all of his illegitimate children.
...unfortunate for you. Doom cares not.
...he once played The Sinister Six, The Masters of Evil, The Circus of Crime, Magneto, and the mutant witch Selene to exhaust the final echo of the Infinity Gems' power on Earth and expunge what little remained of his sense of guilt over his actions, past and future. Dr. Doom and the Masters of Evil was friggin' sweet!
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